The average sized town between London and Brighton on the A272

current location: parallel parking

Parallel Parking - South Road

Figure 1 shows the intended manoeuvre.

Having just spent £40,000 on a new 4x4 Off-road people wagon, the extra 30 pence it costs to park in one of the town's many Pay & Display car parks clearly pushes one over budget.

Place the 4x4 Off-road people wagon into the reverse gear taking care not to use your mirrors at any time.

The style in which you direct your vehicle should indicate that you have no idea quite how ridiculously big it is. We recommend you extend your neck, tilt your head slightly back and peer down your nose at the corner of your vehicle. If you have bull bars, please use them on the car in front.

Figure 2 shows the mid point of the manoeuvre.

Hopefully you will have misjudged the manoeuvre completely and so will need to drive out of the space for another attempt.

Note the traffic beginning to build up. These people are hoping you give up so they can have your free space. You should however persevere.

Repeat the manoeuvre in Figure 2 at least 10 times. The manoeuvre should be replicated exactly so no apparent progress is made.

Figure 3 shows the end of the manoeuvre.

Having spent at least 5 minutes trying to jam your 4x4 Off-road people wagon into the free space, you will note that the correct position for your vehicle is with the rear near-side corner mounting the pavement.

Traffic can now flow freely to the next set of lights and you can browse around the town and spend the 30 pence you just saved.

Pictured, the alternative to parking on the pavement.

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